Bussing into The Hague from Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport, I realize that I have no idea what people from The Hague call themselves. I know that there is a city in Oregon called "The Dalles," but I do not know what those people call themselves either. So much for comparison being able to help a brother out. As we step off the bus and into the World Forum Novatel, I decide that people from The Hague must be called "Den Haagians" because that sounds much cooler than "The Hagueians." Den Haagians it is, then.I am in The Hague this week, attending a conference. In some ways The Hague feels familiar, but in other ways, it is another planet compared to Cairo, the city in which I now live.
For starters, thousands and thousands of people cycle here. I like this. Doesn't matter that it is colder than a witch's tittie in a brass bra and pissing rain, Den Haagians cycle everywhere; to work, to yoga, to the organic grocery store, to pick the kids up from school ... everywhere. I like this, too. I also like that Den Haagians do not wear spandex when they ride, nor do they wear helmets, or knee pads, or elbow pads. They ride to get from point A to point B. They do not ride a million miles an hour, so they are not too worried about the catastrophic accidents that obsess us pansy-ass Americans. And they don't worry about what their bikes look like, either. They ride around, sitting way up high on these great, curly-Q monstrosities that weigh a ton. Some of them have giant wicker baskets hanging from the front handle bars. A lot of them have hard-tails and side satchels suspended off of the backs. Some of the bikes have front, plastic windscreens, making their riders look a little like Dutch versions of CHiPS officers. I like all of this, except the plastic windscreens. I could do without them and the accompanying CHiPS look.
Another related aspect that makes me feel at home in The Hague is that almost every major street throughout the city has been retrofitted to include dedicated bike lanes both coming and going. I cycled in Memphis in the days before the Green Line, and I have to say that combat cycling, sharing narrow streets with two-ton automobiles, is an experience that is very much overrated. I see no combat cycling in The Hague, unless you consider two people racing one another to get to the bike parking post first as fitting into the defintion of combat cycling. So The Hague is a city seemingly built by cyclers for cyclers. Old people cycle here and so so young people. Kids cycle, too. I feel at home in this regard, a fellow cycler in a city of cyclers. I am among my people.
But I am not; not really.
In some ways The Hague is a different planet for me. First off, I am not cool and stylish. I am not even from Europe. I don't have a job in a design firm or in an organic grocery store, like everyone else seems to have here. And I am not nine feet tall. As a people, the Dutch strike me as being very tall. They are tall people riding tall bikes and living in tall houses. When they marry one another, they have tall babies who grow up to be even taller. This is how I feel anyways. Like I am the shortest man in all of Holland. Or a man from Planet Short-Male visiting Planet Den Haag.
There is no garbage on the streets here, either, and this makes me feel like I am on another planet, albeit a wonderfully clean planet. During the past several years, I have lived in both Egypt and China. Cairo is cleaner than almost any city in China, but Cairo is still a massive, polluted city amidst a nation that is developing. Walking down trash strewn streets is sadly a part of life in Cairo as it was in China. But here, not so much. It's like a bunch of Den Haagians gathered together after an Earth Day party one day and decided that with such limited space, land is actually worth something and should be respected and kept clean. And maybe they also decided that they did not want to float around in a sea of rubbish. Maybe they did that, too. Whatever the means, the ends are justifiably clean streets and recycling kiosks 'round every other corner. Different planet.And the clocks! All of the clocks work here, even the ginormous ones built into most of the city's ancient cathedrals. Even those clocks work, keeping accurate time! I remember living in Faribault, Minnesota years ago. Every shitty little bank in Faribault had more or less the same signage out in front of the bank. And part of this signage was a digital clock that never kept accurate time. One would think, as I did at the time, that it cannot be all that difficult to have a digital clock keep accurate time. Not so, apparently. But in The Hague, these ancient clocks set in these ancient towers keep the correct time. Totally different planet.
And then the are the trams. The Hague has these narrow trams that tens of thousands of people use every day. The trams are electric powered, fed by a series of above-ground cables that appear everywhere throughout the city. So instead of the unbiquitous six-lane highways that we have in our great, American cities, The Hague has two lanes for autos, two lanes for bicycles and two lanes for the trams. This is cool, but this is a way different planet than the ones with which I have become accustomed. Planet Hometown USA did not have these kinds of things. Planet Cairo doesn't either, although Planet Cairo does have a lane for donkey carts, which is kind of cool.So you have a city of tall cyclers living in their tall homes and cycling to and from their cool design jobs every day. Add to that, a city constructed with a cycle-friendly, recycling conscious ethos in mind and with public clocks that work. Tall people that do not want to cycle to and from work can always take the trams. On top of this, every nation on the planet has a nice embassy here, so The Hague also has this groovy, multi-cultural, pluralistic political vibe to it (side note: none of the embassies in The Hague are surrounded by barricades, which makes The Hague very much a different planet).
The Hague is a city that simply works. And by that, I do not mean that it is a city full of employed people, although it seems to be. No, what I mean is that things work in The Hague. All of the things that have fallen apart in other places in which I have lived and worked - things like clean air and clean streets, organic farming that is the rule rather than the exception, sensible urban planning complete with huge tracts of green spaces, quality and reliable public transportation, etc. - all of those things work here in The Hague.And that makes for a delightful place to visit and presumably a delightful place in which to live.
A freelance journalist lives a couple of streets over. I follow him on Twitter. You do that kind of thing when you live in a foreign, not-so-safe country. You get to know the people in your neighborhood who know things. My friend the journalist knows things. This morning he is already on it, #CairoBomb. The explosion came from downtown, he says, identifying the district. Smoke is rising from the area, and gunfire has been reported. He is on his way. I am sitting in my living room, terrified and embracing a cup of coffee. I am also wondering what the hell kind of bomb can be felt from miles away.
About an hour after the explosion, BBC picks up the story. Details emerge involving a pick-up truck packed with explosives and charging the gate of the building. There are confirmed fatalities. There is a crater in the middle of the street where the bomb detonated. Western journalists have been detained and forced to show identification and credentials. Once identified however, they are free to continue their investigative reports. A terrorist organization with no links to the Muslim Brotherhood claims responsibility. Hundreds of Egyptians have gathered outside of the damaged building and are chanting pro-democracy and anti-Brotherhood slogans. Police and security forces are pouring into the area. The Minister of the Interior is on his way. There will be an investigation launched, and the planners and perpetrators of this heinous act will be brought to justice.
A new constitution was to have put an end to security concerns, we were told. We didn't really believe the rhetoric, but we certainly thought there would be some security in the days immediately after the referendum. Maybe the disgruntled and disenfranchised would just give up in the wake of the results of the popular vote. Not so, it seems. 
Saqqara is but one of several pyramids in what is known as the Memphis necropolis. The word 'necropolis' means, quite literally, 'city of the dead.' There are many necropoli in Egypt, but the Memphis necropolis was the first to be built on such a grand scale.
We move on to Memphis. We learn the real name of the city (I have forgotten it now). The word, 'Memphis' is what the ancient Greeks called this place when they wrote about it. This locale, now covered by an open air museum and a very rural (and smelly) town, was once the capital of a sprawling and vibrant, ancient civilization. We visit the open air museum. We see a statue of Ramses II, the copy of which today invites Memphians into a glass Pyramid on the banks of the mighty Mississippi; soon to be a Bass Pro shop. The original colossus, derelict and largely forgotten, presides over a quiet, remote courtyard of pillars and column caps.

Gravy, sop it up.
We order, we chat with Phil, and we eat. You know the eating is getting serious when the only sounds coming from the table are monosyllabic utterances of acclaim. Such is the case today. The first to finish wins the honor of breaking the silence, proclaiming the meal as being just about over. This is done by wadding up the napkin and then throwing it down on on the plate as if you have just scored a touchdown. Then you lean back in your chair, stifle a massive belch and say something to the effect of "done being about ready to bust."
The studio building is a simple, two-story affair with a brick facade, a broad, green awning and a sign sporting the famous Sun Studio logo. With the exception of the sign, this frontage could be a part of Main Street anywhere in small-town America. We walk into a 1950s diner area doubling as cafe and gift shop. We purchase four tickets, waiting for the 1:30 pm tour to begin. We begin promptly at 1:45 pm.
We take the stairs down to the studio itself. There is only the one studio room plus the adjoining sound booth. Only one room; one. So much history, so many classic recordings all done here in this modest studio. The soundproofed tiles on the walls and ceiling are original, having been fitted into place by Sam himself working alongside his secretary / major-domo, Marion Keisker. Marion was the first person to record then unknown Elvis Presley. A couple of days later, when Sam first heard the recording, he wasn't impressed; so the story goes. He didn't sign Elvis until a year later.
record, he knelt down to the ground, kissing the spot where Elvis stood when recording his first track. Bono wept during his first take, sobbing into the very same mic Carl Perkins used to record Blue Suede Shoes. A photo toward the back of the studio captures a stunned Bono staring at the famous microphone. The room has an inescapable power and magnetism. It feels like hallowed, sacred ground. All that music. All those legends. People like Elvis just hanging out here. It is impossible not to stand and think, taking all of this in.